Pregnancy Pearls of Wisdom

1. In your 1st trimester, do not try to stay awake.  It will not work.  Just sleep as much as you can.  Don't try to be productive.  The baby needs sleep.  Your body needs sleep.  It's nature - don't fight it. 
2. Read all the books, but the funniest is The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy.  I was loaned a copy from a friend, and it was the first edition, but it has been updated.  This will especially help the chapter on maternity fashion, which was so outdated from the first edition that it was laugh-out-loud funny.
3. Maternity clothes suck.  At the beginning (before you are even showing), they seem exciting.  They are not.  Wear normal clothes for as long as you can!  Integrate as many non-maternity items into your wardrobe as possible.  I promise it will make you feel much better.  
4. Speaking of maternity clothes, shop the maternity section at Sears.  You may have never stepped into Sears for anything other than tires, but believe me, they have a decent selection.  You will probably not buy all of your maternity clothes here, but they have the basics:  jeans, pants, bras, underwear, and pjs.  They also carry many of the same clothes as Motherhood Maternity.  
5. You don't really "feel" pregnant (if that is a feeling that can be quantified) until you feel the baby move.  You will be so anxious to feel the baby move that every gas bubble will be analyzed from week 13 or so on until you are sure that what you are feeling is the baby.  Enjoy those first flutters, but just wait.  It gets so much better!  
6. Speaking of gas, you will have it.  And it WILL come out one end or the other.  I burped from the very beginning of my pregnancy to the end.  Loudly.  And without warning.  I was constantly saying "Excuse me" as I drew the attention of people around me.  
7. The books say that you will not have to pee as much during the 2nd trimester.  They lie.  You have to pee all the time from the very beginning, then it just gets progressively worse starting at the end of your 2nd trimester.  There will be a point when you will consider Depends.  That point will probably be as you are walking away from the restroom and realize that you already have to go again.  
8. Related to the above, at some point in your pregnancy you WILL pee on yourself when you cough, laugh, or sneeze. 
9. Finally, sleep on the side of the bed closest to the bathroom.  Make sure the path is clear as you will be walking that path several times a night for many months.  
10. There are pros and cons to finding out the sex of your baby.  I didn't find out.  Whatever you decide, don't worry about what other people think. 
11. If you are going to find out what you are having, consider not giving away the name.  This serves several purposes.  #1, it gives you the right to change your mind, which you might do, and #2, it leaves some news to tell when the baby gets here.  Also, it saves you from hearing everyone's opinion of the name you love.  Few people will bash a name once it is actually attached to a baby in your arms.  
12. Your brain leaves you when you are pregnant.  I'm not sure where it goes, but it isn't anywhere accessible to you.  Don't plan on using it during this time. 
13. Size is relative when you are pregnant.  On the same day one person will tell you how small you are and another will tell you that you are huge.  Ignore them all.  Size is relative to you as well.  Some days you feel gigantic, and others you don't feel big at all and can't believe there is a human growing inside of you.  
14. Always have something to eat with you.  I promise you will need it.  Hunger strikes quickly and fiercely and a hungry pregnant woman is not a pleasant thing!